The Human Sex Drive

From the first yearnings of adolescence, sex plays a major role in our lives - indeed, it is one of our strongest drives. However, for some, what should be a rich source of pleasure can cause great unhappiness.

Sex is a fundamental driving force of human life. Even so, the complex relationships between the biological need to reproduce, cultural influences, love, affection, and the sex drive itself are still not fully understood. Much of what we know about human sexuality has only been researched and written about the past century, and there is still great controversy about many of its aspects.

As our society has developed, much of what was once considered taboo is now part of normal sexual behaviour and can be discussed freely. In the past, a common premise was that women were interested in sex only for the sake of fulfilling that maternal instinct of pleasing their partners. Nowadays, however, it has become clear that women have as powerful a need for sexual satisfaction and fulfilment as men. Men used to be seen a less emotional and sensitive, wanting sex  only to gratify some basic animal urge, but we now know that emotional expression in sexual activity is equally important to men and women.

Our first conscious expression of interest in sex may come with the question ‘where do babies come from?’, but in fact, we have been sexual animals since birth. We enjoy and are aware of a variety of physical sensations, many of which represent the warmth and comfort of closeness with another person. We get sensual pleasure from our bodies long before we are aware of ourselves as sexual people, or what sexual pleasure means in adult society.

Sexual interest in other people may not arise until adolescence begins, although it may happen considerably earlier. However, surveys suggest that about 50 present of young people are sexually experienced by the time they have reached the age of 18.

What attracts people sexually to each other? The answer to this question can be split to cover three broad areas: physical factors, psychological factors and social influences.

On a physiological level, a lot depends on what a prospective partner looks like, not simply in the sense of physical appearance, but more in terms of whether he or she looks ‘interested’ or ‘available’.  It has been suggested that if the pupils of the eyes of someone you are looking at dilate as you speak to him or her, this signifies attraction, or at least interest. Smell also plays a part although it may be heavily disguised or register only on the unconscious level. Like all animals, humans produce strong scents called pheromones, which are a powerful influence on sexual attraction.

On the psychological level, it is true to say that, everybody judges potential sexual partners on a wide range of factors, including likeness or dissimilarity to mother or father. For instance, a boy who has had a good relationship with his mother may be attracted to girls who are like her.

Social influences are very important. We are constantly assaulted with images of what the ideal sex partner ought to look, act and live like; and there is little doubt that these things greatly influence our preference.

These aspects of sexuality have a great influence throughout adult life, and are central to the creation of any fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.