Psychological Problems That Have An Impact on Sex

Up until now, we have only considered the physical side of sex. However, by far the greatest number of sexual problems is psychological.

Sexual knowledge is much more openly available to young people nowadays, and adult discussion of sexual matters is rather more relaxed than once was the case. Nevertheless, in spite of this, many of the old problems remain for some people

Virtually every case concerning sexual problems or feelings of inadequacy is caused by anxiety, and that anxiety can arise for a number of reasons:

Religious views

Strict religious beliefs taught in childhood may interfere with a person’s sexual happiness, even if he or she has ceased to regard those beliefs as “gospel truth”. Most religious texts contain guides to moral behaviour, but it is very easy for these to be carried to the extreme by the religiously zealous person. Some beliefs can make sexual happiness extremely difficult, either by preventing sexual activity directly or by producing enormous sexual guilt if the taboos implied are broken.

Sexual Shock

Very strong fears of sex lasting for many years can be produced by some frightening or degrading sexual experience in early life. Child assault, rape and unexpectedly catching venereal disease are all examples of experiences, which can affect a person’s sex activity, and beliefs later in live.

Poor Sex Education

Although sex education is now easily available to those who seek it, the taboos that surround the subject still exist. Many parents still find it difficult to discuss sexual matters with their children. Surveys have shown that in adolescence children would rather talk to an older friend than to their parents.

Alcohol

Although too much alcohol can, produce a temporary inability to climax in men, the real danger occurs because of what the man may think is going on. If he does not realize that the alcohol is the real reason for his temporary incapacity, he broods over his ‘weakness’; anger and fear build up, and after a number of such failures he may become psychologically impotent.

Parental Models

Parents inevitably transmit to their children not only facts but also attitudes about sex. They do this not only directly, but also by their own behaviour, and if parents show negative or fearful attitudes, these attitudes are likely to be reflected by that children and can produce difficulties when those children grow up. 

Physical Problems Men Experience With Sex

Although the majority of male sexual problems are psychologically based, there are a number of physical conditions that can affect your sex life. It is important to contact your doctor as soon as possible before anxiety over sexual performance begins to complicate matters and create tension.

Genital abnormalities are extremely rare, but when they do occur, they can be very upsetting. A tight foreskin can make intercourse painful, while an undescended testicle – although it will not affect intercourse – may cause embarrassment. Your doctor can swiftly correct both of these conditions. Any rash or soreness on the penis will make intercourse uncomfortable, and should be treated immediately, either by your doctor or at a special treatment clinic. Alcohol can have a detrimental effect on a man’s sexual performance, as it has a depressing effect on the nervous system. One drink too many may mean difficulty in achieving an erection, while alcoholism may give long-term problems, such as loss of libido.

Drugs prescribed for the treatment of depression of circulatory diseases can also affect sexual response. Erection may be possible, but there is no orgasm, or there is little interest in sex at all. Any man receiving medical treatment who has sexual problems should consult his doctor about the possible effects of medication.

Hormone deficiency can be the cause of loss of libido, but this is very rare. It can be due to an abnormally low level of testosterone, a male hormone. Men with this condition are likely to have little interest in sex, and hardly, if ever, do they masturbate. Hormone replacement therapy is possible but it does not have a very high success rate.  

Physical Problems Women Encounter With Sex

Many women experience sexual problems, particularly with orgasm. A woman may be unable to move from the plateau phase into orgasm, which may be very frustrating. She may be able to climax easily from masturbation, but does not do so because of intercourse.

This is now thought to be perfectly normal, and may in fact apply to a sizeable proportion (a third or more) of all women. Problems with orgasm when with a partner can sometimes be because the women or the partner does not know how best she can be sexually stimulated to the point of climax, and a straightforward sex manual can usually help the couple out of this problem. However, there are a number of physical factors that can lead to sexual problems, and these could be considered before a couple goes on to seek psychological help with any sexual difficulty.

 Libido is the interest in or our need for sex, so it is obviously a prerequisite of enjoyable sexual activity. However, there are a number of simple problems that can lead to a decrease in libido, and these are often easily rectified.

Many women report that they have little interest in sex immediately after the birth of a child. This may be a result of the change in hormone levels during and after pregnancy, but it may also be caused simply by physical tiredness.

The Pill can also reduce libido. This is a relatively uncommon effect, and may be easily solved by a change of Pill, of trying a different kind of contraceptive. Once again, it is they change in hormone levels that is said to be responsible.

The menstrual cycle can be accompanied by changes in the level of sexual interest. This should not present a problem once the woman and her partner have understood and accepted these ebbs and flows and their cyclical changes. A small minority of women, however, will experience loss of libido because of hormone deficiency or imbalance that is quite independent of the menstrual cycle, and this needs treatment.

Physical difficulties with arousal and intercourse can also occur because of pregnancy and childbirth. The vagina may be very tender after giving birth, and intercourse should not be attempted until all stiches have healed completely.

Once vaginal soreness has disappeared, (this may take three weeks or more) intercourse can take place as usual.

Painful intercourse needs medical investigation and treatment, as it may indicate gynaecological problems, such a cysts on the ovaries or an infection inside the uterus. 

Male Orgasm

The male orgasmic cycle goes through exactly the same sequence: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Moreover, it is equally complex.

The excitement phase begins as a response to a sexual thought or feeling, or to physical stimulation. The penis responds almost immediately, and becomes erect.  Blood fills the spaces (corpora cavernosa) within the flaccid (soft) penis, so that it can enlarge to six inches or more in length when erect. Breathing deepens, the pulse rate increases and the body is more sensitive.

The plateau phase follows, and the penis is now fully erect. It may have darkened in colour, and a drop of liquid may appear at the entrance to the urethra. This is seminal fluid, and it may contain a small amount of sperm.

The testicles increase in size by as much as 50 per cent, rising up towards the body. And the genital area increases in sensitivity as orgasm is approached.

Orgasm is made up of two stages, but these are linked in such a way that it is impossible to have the first without the second. First sperm travel out of the testicles up the vas deferens (seminal duct) to the seminal vesicles. These vesicles produce semen, which is mixed with the sperm, and is then ready for ejaculation. About four seconds later the fluid is pushed up into and along the urethra, a result of a series of contractions made by the prostate gland and the urethral muscles. The semen is then ejaculated out of the urethra. This is an extremely exciting sensation. 

The resolution phase sees that penis returning to a non-aroused state, and loosing the erection. The physical tension, which has accompanied arousal, now disappears, and this man may feel very relaxed and sleepy.

Female Orgasm

Orgasm is a simple reflex response to sexual stimulation, and can occur as the result of a variety of sexual stimuli. The physical cycle of arousal, however, is always exactly the same. Though intensity of the experience may vary from woman to woman, and from time to time, and depend on the source of stimulation. The Americana sexologists Masters and Johnson have identified four phases of the orgasmic cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution.

The excitement phase is brought about by sexual thoughts, emotional closeness and physical attraction. The body immediately reacts with an increase in general sensitivity and response to caresses.

The sexual organs become filled with blood, so that they swell both internally and externally. The vagina expands in length and width and the vulva swells a little. Both the clitoris and labia minora (inner lips of the vulva) fill with blood and may become darker in colour. The vagina begins to lubricate itself in readiness for sexual contact.

The plateau phase follows immediately. The sexual organs become extremely sensitive, responding to the caresses of lovemaking. The vagina expands to become about two inches longer than in the non-aroused state. It is at this point that intercourse may be taking place, and sensation by the narrowing of the outer third of the vagina, making it grips the penis more easily. Lubrication of the vagina continues, and all the muscles around the sexual organs become tense in a very pleasurable way. The breasts may swell and the nipples become erect, especially if they are touched. Breathing is deep, and there may be a light rash over the upper parts of the body.

The clitoris, which is the most sensitive of the female sexual organs and where all orgasms begin, is now fully erect. Just before orgasm, it pulls itself back inside the clitoral hood.

Orgasm may now occur. There will be a rush of extremely pleasurable sensation beginning at the clitoris and moving outwards into the whole body. The muscles surrounding the vulva, vagina and anus now go into a series of spontaneous rhythmic contractions, which are delightful indeed.

The resolution phase then begins immediately after orgasm. In it, the sexual organs return to a non-aroused state.  The volume of blood, which has engorged the sexual organs slowly, drains away back into the body. Sexual interest may be aroused again almost immediately, and one or more orgasmic cycles will recommence. 

The Human Sex Drive

From the first yearnings of adolescence, sex plays a major role in our lives - indeed, it is one of our strongest drives. However, for some, what should be a rich source of pleasure can cause great unhappiness.

Sex is a fundamental driving force of human life. Even so, the complex relationships between the biological need to reproduce, cultural influences, love, affection, and the sex drive itself are still not fully understood. Much of what we know about human sexuality has only been researched and written about the past century, and there is still great controversy about many of its aspects.

As our society has developed, much of what was once considered taboo is now part of normal sexual behaviour and can be discussed freely. In the past, a common premise was that women were interested in sex only for the sake of fulfilling that maternal instinct of pleasing their partners. Nowadays, however, it has become clear that women have as powerful a need for sexual satisfaction and fulfilment as men. Men used to be seen a less emotional and sensitive, wanting sex  only to gratify some basic animal urge, but we now know that emotional expression in sexual activity is equally important to men and women.

Our first conscious expression of interest in sex may come with the question ‘where do babies come from?’, but in fact, we have been sexual animals since birth. We enjoy and are aware of a variety of physical sensations, many of which represent the warmth and comfort of closeness with another person. We get sensual pleasure from our bodies long before we are aware of ourselves as sexual people, or what sexual pleasure means in adult society.

Sexual interest in other people may not arise until adolescence begins, although it may happen considerably earlier. However, surveys suggest that about 50 present of young people are sexually experienced by the time they have reached the age of 18.

What attracts people sexually to each other? The answer to this question can be split to cover three broad areas: physical factors, psychological factors and social influences.

On a physiological level, a lot depends on what a prospective partner looks like, not simply in the sense of physical appearance, but more in terms of whether he or she looks ‘interested’ or ‘available’.  It has been suggested that if the pupils of the eyes of someone you are looking at dilate as you speak to him or her, this signifies attraction, or at least interest. Smell also plays a part although it may be heavily disguised or register only on the unconscious level. Like all animals, humans produce strong scents called pheromones, which are a powerful influence on sexual attraction.

On the psychological level, it is true to say that, everybody judges potential sexual partners on a wide range of factors, including likeness or dissimilarity to mother or father. For instance, a boy who has had a good relationship with his mother may be attracted to girls who are like her.

Social influences are very important. We are constantly assaulted with images of what the ideal sex partner ought to look, act and live like; and there is little doubt that these things greatly influence our preference.

These aspects of sexuality have a great influence throughout adult life, and are central to the creation of any fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.