From the first yearnings of adolescence, sex plays a
major role in our lives - indeed, it is one of our strongest drives. However, for
some, what should be a rich source of pleasure can cause great unhappiness.
Sex is a fundamental driving force of human life.
Even so, the complex relationships between the biological need to reproduce,
cultural influences, love, affection, and the sex drive itself are still not
fully understood. Much of what we know about human sexuality has only been
researched and written about the past century, and there is still great
controversy about many of its aspects.
As our society has developed, much of what was once
considered taboo is now part of normal sexual behaviour and can be discussed
freely. In the past, a common premise was that women were interested in sex
only for the sake of fulfilling that maternal instinct of pleasing their
partners. Nowadays, however, it has become clear that women have as powerful a
need for sexual satisfaction and fulfilment as men. Men used to be seen a less
emotional and sensitive, wanting sex
only to gratify some basic animal urge, but we now know that emotional
expression in sexual activity is equally important to men and women.
Our first conscious expression of interest in sex
may come with the question ‘where do babies come from?’, but in fact, we have
been sexual animals since birth. We enjoy and are aware of a variety of
physical sensations, many of which represent the warmth and comfort of
closeness with another person. We get sensual pleasure from our bodies long
before we are aware of ourselves as sexual people, or what sexual pleasure
means in adult society.
Sexual interest in other people may not arise until
adolescence begins, although it may happen considerably earlier. However,
surveys suggest that about 50 present of young people are sexually experienced
by the time they have reached the age of 18.
What attracts people sexually to each other? The
answer to this question can be split to cover three broad areas: physical
factors, psychological factors and social influences.
On a physiological level, a lot depends on what a
prospective partner looks like, not simply in the sense of physical appearance,
but more in terms of whether he or she looks ‘interested’ or ‘available’. It has been suggested that if the pupils of
the eyes of someone you are looking at dilate as you speak to him or her, this
signifies attraction, or at least interest. Smell also plays a part although it
may be heavily disguised or register only on the unconscious level. Like all animals,
humans produce strong scents called pheromones, which are a powerful influence
on sexual attraction.
On the psychological level, it is true to say that,
everybody judges potential sexual partners on a wide range of factors,
including likeness or dissimilarity to mother or father. For instance, a boy
who has had a good relationship with his mother may be attracted to girls who
are like her.
Social influences are very important. We are
constantly assaulted with images of what the ideal sex partner ought to look,
act and live like; and there is little doubt that these things greatly
influence our preference.
These aspects of sexuality have a great influence
throughout adult life, and are central to the creation of any fulfilling and
satisfying sexual relationship.
